luck

my first day back from sem break, there was something in me that i could't explain. i felt elated, like i was walking on clouds throughout the day. i had fun with my friends, happy to be able to talk to them again after nine days. there wasn't much work to do. two teachers were absent. i felt lighthearted, not exactly happy, but fine, like nothing can go wrong.

the next day, yesterday that is, everything was the exact opposite. i have no idea why, but the elated feeling i had the day before vanished. my day wasn't entirely bad, but i felt like rain clouds followed me until i got home. i felt like bad stuff kept on happening. i felt like everything was going wrong.

today, it was, i think, a little bit of both. i had both bad and good luck. i'm not sure whether i had more bad than good, or the other way around, but i had them both nevertheless.

now what is the whole point of writing this post? i'm just wondering, does bad luck really exist? is it real? is luck something we should rely on? if bad stuff keep happening, one coming after the other, is that bad luck? more often than not, i find myself thinking things like "i feel lucky today, i must've done something right", or "what an unlucky day. what did i do wrong?". i feel like i'm starting to entrust my fate to luck. and i don't think i like it.

i know i'm weird, thinking about stuff not worth thinking about, wondering about things i should just leave alone. but i admit it; i'm just strange that way. i can't help it. sometimes, i lie awake at night wondering about almost everything, no matter how ridiculous, or insane they may be.

alrighty. i think i've written everything i want to write. i'll go do my english homework now.